JustinSpeak A Look Inside the Mind of Justin Schmidt

The Wrens

Its 4:00 in the morning and I saw The Wrens a mere five and a half hours ago...

Easily the most endearing band I have ever seen. These guys played from the bottom of their hearts. I have seen better bands, I have been to better shows...However, I haven't been to a show quite like this one...

oh no, not this time too
I'm the only one you got to use
and if I tell you all this could be
nothing more than a way to leave you
would you want me?
and now you're sorry for the things you did to me
I want you to know I feel I was the one who got used
and used to just about anything you would tell me
but those days are more than over now
don't you say you want me to stay
now you've got to get away,
you've got to get away,
go find someone who wants you
someone to pray to
get on your knees to
lay down and please you too
it just won't be me ever again
hopeless that this will turn out better
this isn't what I wanted
I should've listened to them
go thank yourself for nothing
it's really all you're good for
and every year you wasted
and every half-assed offer

Honestly, do you think you could watch and listen to a band sing a song with lyrics like these and not walk away with goose bumps and misty eyes?

Why I don’t do as much drugs as I used too…

The following is a free verse poem, for lack of a better description, that I wrote while yacked out on very green marijuana and ten some odd Rolling Rocks. This "work" was composed sometime in late 1999. At this time I was a freshman at the University of Missouri who, like all good 19 year olds, liked to keep a healthy distance from sobriety.

The odyssey begins...

Somehow between somewhere and now, the time I once held near has been stripped from me. I can,t seem to find the way that my sins have yet to be forgiven, not realizing fully what the difference between the wrong and the right. But is it not the question of whether or not the world is justified, but whether or not the world can seek truth. It is truth that really is missing these days. Not truth of the mind, but truth of the body. When can I see the outside? When can I know what it is that I'm here to do? How come no matter where I go I breathe the same air?.....pulse....pulse...the wind rips through your eyes. Reflecting from yours and burning from mine, our retinas cross in an intergalactic light. I felt as free as a bird. As uninhibited as a young fawn, jumping through the thicket. But fuck that shit, I will eat your soul!! I will drink of the blood of your arm!!! I will consume your existence and extinguish the once bright flame of your soul!!! YOu will be dispatched by my soul reaping powers of super death!! I will kill your soul, rape your soul, and end your soul. I will make your soul hurt, as you will hurt as I piss ojn your soul!!!!!! I shall take my spirit destroying cock and fuck yoiur little heart untill your soul is nothing but a glitch in the fabric of existence. Then I will nut the consuming fire of my unholy jizz. I will nut on your soul!!!!!! And with your nut covered soul ashes. I shall scatter them over the remains of your souless mates. The very people who took advantage of your soul. BUT YOU SHALL RISE!!! YOU ARE THE POWER OF LIGHT!!!!! YOU WILL NEVER DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I...will...consume...your...SOUL!!!!!

If Nancy Reagan had evidence for drugs permafucking the human brain as much as this, then I think her efforts might have been just a little more effective.

Now you may be curious as to why I would exhume such an incredible bit of writing and feel it necessary to share with all of you. Do not worry, that is a good question. Unfortunately, I have no adequate answer...But neither does our dipshit president 92% of the time...So deal with it.

Okay, I give up, I'll tell the truth. I was looking through My Documents trying to find a picture I made for my dearest Robyn and I stumbled upon this thing. I remember it being very very funny but for some reason it seems to have lost its luster over the years. Back in the day, it was really funny to talk like some deranged demon. Should I resurrect this type of humor? No, but like a good gallon of milk, it tends to have a slightly different taste after sitting in storage for six years.

Gonzo Blogging

I can't say I was the biggest Hunter Thompson fan in the world. My relationship with The Good Doctor only extended as far as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, a few documentaries, and his somewhat monthly column on espn.com/page2. However, I cannot deny his contribution to the verbose, from left field and stream of consciousness style of writing that I love so much. I only hope that his final testament is indeed the double-thumbed fist that he rants about on that old BBC documentary about him.

If you haven't seen this documentary then you owe it to yourself to get the special edition Fear and Loathing DVD and watch it. Hunter S. Thompson was easily one of the top five strangest people to ever grace out presence. Now he has gone to the great bat country in the sky. My most sincere condolences to those who knew him...

I have had the hardest time coming up with something to blog about this week...Robyn, I'm still waiting on a topic sweetheart ...That being said, I think the following entry will be perfect filler until I can come up with something that has at least some literary value.

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TOP 5 ALBUMS FOR DRIVING IN THE FOG, AT NIGHT, WHILE ALONE
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5.) Radiohead: Kid A
This is one of those albums that could fit anywhere on any top five list except for the ones like, "Top five sucky albums." Radiohead are my generations Pink Floyd; they are important, pretentious, and haven't put out a bad record yet. Seriously, how many times have you been listening to this album and been mesmerized by every song on it? Every time I hear "How to Disappear Completely" I want to cry. Every time I hear "Kid A" I am convinced that Thom Yorke is singing to me from the "other" side of our universe. Every time I hear "Idioteque" I wonder how such skinny and pale British guys can make a beat that can nod more heads than Dr. Dre. Every time I hear "Motion Picture Soundtrack" I get chills when Thom closes the record telling me, "I will see you in the next life." Fucking hell these guys are good.

4.) Interpol: Turn on the Bright Lights
Have you ever driven past the aftermath of a meeting between Bambi and Mister Semi Truck? Have you ever driven past the aftermath of a meeting between Bambi and Mister Semi Truck at NIGHT? If you have, then you will agree with me that it is some incredibly freaky and grotesque Silent Hill type shit. I didn't even know that there is that much deer! When a truck hits a deer at 80mph the carnage that ensues covers at least 70 feet of highway. Interpol write the kind of music that makes you transcend consciousness a little bit while listening. About the only thing that can suddenly snap you out of Paul Banks' trance is 250lbs of deer sprayed in front of your headlights.

Mr. Parker knows what I'm talking about...Don't ask Doolan though

3.) Dire Straits: Brothers In Arms

Ah, the part of my list where the hipsters stop reading...I don't care what anyone says, Mark Knopfler fucking plays guitar. This record opens with the best 3 song bit of sequencing in the last 25 years; "So Far Away," "Money for Nothing," "Walk of Life." The rest of the album is good too, but its the first three songs that really make my loins tickle. I do have to warn you my dearest reader, this album must only be played when you are less than 20 minutes from your destination. One cannot listen to this in the middle of their night drive. If you put this record on too early, then you will make yourself too happy and want to talk on the phone or something rather than reflect and ponder existence. You don't want to ruin a perfectly good night time driving and thinking session do you?

2.) The Smashing Pumpkins: Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness

Surprised? You probably thought I'd put Animals, Wish You Were Here or Dark Side of the Moon at this spot didn't ya? I could make a top 5 list with only Floyd on it if I had too. However, that wouldn't be any fun. This record is on this list at such a high spot for two reasons. First, its really fucking long. A long record should be listened too in its entirety from time to time. People get in this really nasty habit of skipping songs when the music sounds so much better when heard in context. Yeah I know Mr. Corgan is one sick fuck for dropping this monster on us, but seriously, there really isn't a bad song on it. The second reason this record is so high on this list is because a good night drive needs to spark the full range and depth of the emotions and memories of the driver. This record does just that. Seriously, next time you are driving for more than two hours and its dark outside put this fucker on and you will relive all the highs, lows, ups, downs, strikes and gutters of your impressionable years.

EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm in my early 20s, so this record came out when I was in high school...If you're a little older or younger than this album might not have been such an event for you...Feel free to substitute it with an epic record of your generation. ONE RULE THOUGH, the record you pick has to be at least 100 minutes long and contain at least one instrumental track.

1.) The Flaming Lips: The Soft Bulletin

I cannot heap any more praise on this record than has already been given. If you haven't heard this album, then by all means necessary please go get yourself a copy. The Soft Bulletin changed my life, it will change yours too if it hasn't already. Everyone will have a different yet equally religious reaction to this music listening to it in a car at night time. Pick up a copy, leave your house just before sundown, listen to something else first, and then put this in. You'll thank me later.