About Justin Schmidt

Justin Schmidt was born on March 5, 1981. Now let me tell you, dearest reader, the world completely changed that day. The awesomest man to ever be awesome came to this party we call life.

The One and Only Justin Allen Schmidt

I am completely in love with a woman by the name of Lindsey Stock. This is important to note as I don’t think I’m ever going to have another girlfriend again.  She’s “the one.”

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    JustinSpeak is the world's largest collection of wit, humor, awesomeness, and philosophical truth. I suggest you bookmark this site, link to it, and visit often as the words in these pages have the power to change your life. For reals.

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    Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. — Crash Davis

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